Keys to Happiness

On the radio yesterday the talk show host was asking the question...

"If you could go back and give your 15 year old SELF advice, NOW, knowing what you know, what would you tell him or her?"

I have thought a lot about this question. We try to tell our children what we have learned through our life's lesson, but do they listen? Most of them, at least mine, have to experience it on their own, and by all rights should. But how much heartache and pain might be avoided if we and they would listen to our parents and the wisdom that comes with age.

So I pose this question to any blog readers that might stumble upon my blog and read it. I would be interested to hear what you would tell yourself, if you had the opportunity to give yourself advice. Don't be afraid, leave your thoughts. I hope to learn from you. In advance I thank you for sharing.

Early morning riser

I love the morning. It is quiet, cooler than the rest of the day, and so peaceful. I have been getting up, occasionally, and going to a 5:15 am class at the gym and in doing so have witnesses some pretty amazing sunrises. I thought I would share. Here is just one good reason to be an early riser......

Behold:










I'm thinking that 2 of these pictures might be sunset shots, but still beautiful! I am so grateful for the beauties of the earth and ALL that Heavenly Father tickles our senses with.

A Moment in Time

True friends.....now that is a treasure. Jeff and I recently had visitors from Florida, long time, treasured friends that don't come around too often in a persons life. We love this family.......and just as important, our kids love them too.

You see the story is long and short. Jack, Deanne and I all grew up in the same stake. Jack and I, in the same ward; we "hung out" together, we went on our missions together (at the same time), we came home together, we got married about the same time. It would seem that our lives moved in tandem.

After Jack and Deanne were married, Jack's job eventually took them out of state. They have lived in several different places, ending up in Orlando, Florida. Our kids haven't grown up together, in fact, have hardly even seen each other. Yet when we get together, it's like old times. There is a chemistry between our families that is hard to explain. We fit!!

We were so happy that they were able to make Grantsville a stop on their Utah vacation. Here are pictures of us as they were preparing to leave this morning.



It was a windy morning....what else would we expect in Grantsville?


"A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget..."

Abi's home

Ok, so here is another late post.

This story begins on June 9th, at 7:00 am. Jeff and I flew from Salt Lake to Minneapolis to Cleveland, Ohio in preparations to pick Abi up at the conclusion of her mission. We were so excited. We arrived in Cleveland around 4:30pm and had to wait until 8:30 the NEXT morning before getting to see her.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will let the pictures do the talking.......

On our way to pick her up

I'm getting excited!



Dad gets first greetings!

Then me!!!!!

Different from how my mission was, Abi's mission home is the same as her Mission President's home, so we were blessed to be able to have a short visit with President and Sister Sorenson and hear wonderful things said about Abi. As my sister says, this was definitely a "parental paycheck day". Truly grateful for the blessings that Heavenly Father has blessed me with and allowed me to enjoy. We didn't stay too long, after some wise council from her Mission President, we were off....to see Ohio and the people that Abi loves so much.



First stop.....KIRTLAND.

The Temple

Newell K. Whitney Store

"School of the Prophets" & other Historic sights


the Erie Canal

Downtown Cleveland

The Columbus Temple with Brother and Sister Houghton and Sister Titera

We met many wonderful people that Abi had the chance to teach and testify of Jesus Christ to. They love her and she certainly loves them. It was a wonderful experience.

The finals days of our trip tomorrow.

The best weekend ever!

This past Saturday was May 8th, my 50th birthday! I decided that to celebrate and honor my mom I would walk in Salt Lake City's "Race for a Cure". It was one of the neatest experiences I have had the privilege of participating in in a very long time. Thank you to Emalee for covering the store for me so that I could do this with many loved family members. Our "group" was walking in remembrance of Lona Topham, Kerstin's daughters mother who passed away from breast cancer, but I wanted to walk in honor of my mom as well.

Thank you Kerstin for planting the idea and giving me the motivation to act!

I was lucky, my "big" sister came from Idaho to help celebrate my surprise birthday party (more on that later), and because she came, she and I were able walk together in honor of mom. She reminded me of my mom's own battle with breast cancer, a story that I had forgotten about. My mom was incredible! A woman that I took for granted and didn't learn to appreciate until after her passing. She was amazing! She was a strong woman! You see my mom was in her early 30's when she went in for a gall bladder operation. After mom had been "knocked out" and during the preparations for her surgery the "nurse" found a lump on mom's breast, they determined that it was serious enough that something needed to be done immediately, and my dad was asked to sign papers giving permission for the doctors to "investigate" the lump and do whatever would be necessary. To keep the story short, mom went in for gall bladder surgery and came out without a breast. She had been given mastectomy. It was hard for her to accept and deal with. Can you imagine?

Mom recovered from her breast cancer; but she suffered with cancer for most of her life. She had ovarian cancer, breast cancer and eventually died from lung cancer. During one of her lung cancer surgeries, the doctors found dead tumors adhered to her chest cavity that had died many years earlier because of the cobalt treatments she had to have to kill the cancer. Had my dad not signed those papers, I would have lost my mom much sooner than 1985. He helped prolong her life and we were blessed to have her for many more years.

(I started this post a long time ago. Thought that I finally ought to post it.... I guess the story of the birthday will just have to wait.)

Trying to change

It has been a long time since my last post. I have wanted to put a new post up for so long, but of what? My days seem boring and mundane!

Well I finally thought of something that I want to share......

It is really hard to be IN shape when for so many years you have allowed yourself to be OUT of shape.

I have been going to Gold's Gym now for 13 1/2 months, 5 days a week, and yet I see no visible signs of improvement. Yes, I can see some toning, and strengthening, but where I want to see improvement (on the scale), nothing is happening. Hopefully until NOW.......

I am putting this up on my blog to enlist ALL of your help. The experts in the health and fitness industry say that for my height and bone structure I should weigh about 145lbs. I haven't weighed that since I was in Jr. High. I don't want to be that tiny, but I would love to shed 40-50 pounds. In an obsession of this quest, I even thought about going to the auditions in Salt Lake a week or so ago for the show, "The Biggest Loser", but chickened out. (Maybe I'm not that big).

Recently a good friend told me about a web site that helped her SIL loose some weight. The website counts my calories, all I have to do is set my desired caloric intake, plug in what I ate and what I do for exercise, and the computer does the rest. Maybe this is just too easy, but I think that I can do this. Nothing complicated about it. No counting pts, reading labels, or figuring required. If I want to loose weight all I have to do is be honest and plug in the information and stay below the allowed calorie intake. I then will be told if I am eating too much, or the wrong things.

I don't know if I should be sharing so much information about my deepest struggle, am I setting myself up for disappointment by telling you all this? I feel good, I feel healthy, but I know that I need to loose some weight. I weighed myself this morning and I am down 2 pounds this week using this program. I am excited and so far I love it.

Many of you might be wondering what it is.......Well I got to it through livestrong.com/myplate. I hope to be able to report good things and share with others my experiences in this healthy eating journey. Old habits die hard, but this one needs to die!

Building nightmare!!!

this is a building that is currently (has been for the past 3 years) being built in Las Vegas, right across the street from the Retail Furniture Market buildings. It houses a brain institute. I think the architect might need his brain look at. What do you think? Pretty crazy huh?

26th Anniversary & Las Vegas

You all have such cute and cleaver posts that I am feeling inadequate! So to update what we have done in the last month.

Feb. 1st:

Jeff and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I was going to put up an old wedding photo, but haven't looked for my wedding album, hence, no old picture.

To celebrate Jeff and I went to Las Vegas a day ahead of our scheduled trip there for furniture market. We were able to go see Lance Burton, a magician for free.!!! (Thanks Steve and Emily!!!!) He was pretty amazing, even made a car disappear and levitate.















We shopped until we about dropped. You would never believe that there are that many different manufacturer's/distributors of furniture.

The best part of this annual trip is being with family. My nephew, Steve and his family live in Vegas and my dad and his wife always meet us there. Here are a few pictures of our adventures.

Emily, Easton and Steve

My Dad and Nita

We took Easton up to Grandpa's room to see the lights of Las Vegas and this is all of us in an elevator, obviously trying to take a picture and I had the camera and short arms, hence I am in front. I know, I look really scary! Too bad Grandpa got cut out of the picture.















Thanks for your help, Grandpa from Arizona. That's how Easton was able to relate to my dad. You see, he has Grandparents in both Oregon and Idaho too. It was really cute to watch him try and understand it all.

He grew up to be a cowboy!

I am so excited to actually have something to blog about and that I get to put up a new post. Saturday night, Jeff, my MIL, and I all went to Ogden to watch Ethan ride in his most recent Rodeo. It was the Rocky Mountain Professional Rodeo Associations (RMPRA) Winter Series rodeo. It was a 2 night event, each night had 7-8 different bareback riders. Ethan was "up" on Saturday night's performance, 85 was the leading score from Friday.

So here is a little rodeo judging information:

There are 2 arena judges, each judge has a total of 50 pts to award. The horse can get a max. of 25 pts, and the cowboy gets 25 pts. The judges are on opposite sides of the arena, watching how the cowboy spurs the horse, moves his legs and maintains control of his body; and also watching how well the horse bucks. Lots to watch! Well Ethan scored a 42 on each side, that's a score of 84! Pretty good, and because of that score, won first place in his performance and 2nd place overall. It proved to be a nice payday for him.

Here is a video of his ride, see what you think.





Watch the horse's timing, he actually kicks Ethan's hat.

1987

Happy Birthday, Abi!!!!

Here I am, a day or so late again. Today I want to celebrate Abi's birth. Abi was born 22 years ago, December 11, 1987 at 2:36pm at Cottonwood Hospital. She weighed in at 8lbs 12oz was 20 1/2" long and had brown hair, not a lot but some. Abi's actual due date was Christmas Day and since I had the pleasure of having all my children C-section, I was able to move her due date as far away from Christmas as possible. They would only take her 2 weeks early, so I always know that on her birthday, there are 2 more weeks until Santa arrives.
Grandma Hickok, Abi and mom

It didn't take long for us to realize what a special little girl this gal was. Abi has been a joy since the first day we had her. She slept through the night pretty much right from the start. She has been a peacemaker in our family and an example for all of us to look up to. It is so hard for me to believe that she has grown up so quickly. I am so proud of her.

Abi is currently serving a mission in Cleveland, Ohio. She is privileged enough to have the Kirtland Temple in her mission. She loves that she gets to go to and be in places where the Lord himself has been.

She is our adventurous child. An example of this....once when she was about 11 or so, we went to Virg's here in Tooele County for dinner one night. On the table was a bottle of Tabasco sauce, she asked her dad what it was. After explaining what it is he then offered her $5.00 if she would "eat" a spoonful of it. Mustering the courage she needed, she did so. Pretty soon her eyes started to water, her mouth started to burn and she was "dying". Successfully, after a few hours, she was able to enjoy her well earned $5.00. Abi has also shown this adventurous spirit by attending school in several different environments. She started at BYU-I, transferred to BYU-H, and then went to BYU- Jerusalem all before venturing off to Ohio for her mission.

She is a wonderful daughter! A valiant and obedient servant of the Lord. She loves life and finds happiness in all that she does. Her goal is to be "wheeled" in to the chapel for her "homecoming" through the funeral doors, because she has exhausted herself in the service of others.

The blessings of service and a very good man.

No pictures with this post, just thoughts....

Last Friday, December 5th, the High Council of the Grantsville Utah Stake had a dinner and caroling activity. Jeff was assigned to bring a main dish, and after much deliberation we decided to take a Korean dish of marinated meat called: Pulgogi. It is delicious and since we haven't made any for a long time I was really looking forward to the feast. However we had a small scheduling conflict that night and so I ran to Salt Lake for Stephanie Clayton's wedding reception and then went to the activity late. I had told Jeff to save me some meat since my taste buds had been salavating all day long. He thought there would be no need, we brought enough, or so he thought. Luckily for me Bro. Casey Killian, also a RM from Korea had the same idea as me. He brought pulgogi but even better than that is he brought some cucumber kimchi to go with it. Now that was heaven! So I was able to enjoy the Korean feast made that much better by the fact that there was kimchi and seaweed to eat too. I can't even tell you how yummy it was and how many memories flooded my memory bank from days spent in the mission field. It was all so good.

We then went caroling to some of the members of the stake who are either suffering from age, health, or loneliness. May I share with you two experiences from this night of joy?!?! We had gone to a home of an older widow who lost her husband earlier this year, but unknown to us she had moved. Well when 10 cars all pull up in front of your home, one might open the door to inquire what was going on. This poor unsuspecting new resident was thrilled to have us sing to her. From what I understand, she isn't a member of the church and has no interest in any part of it, but was accepting and even eager to share the Christmas Spirit with us and all of her family. She called all of them to come out on the porch and listen to us. It was a great time and hopefully a true opportunity to become "brothers and sisters in Christ".

My second story is approached with tenderness and meekness as there are feelings very close to the surface for those directly involved. We had the privileged and opportunity to go to the home of Robin and Annette Baird. As those of you close to the Grantsville community know, Robin is battling cancer and his fight seems to be getting harder to win.

I just wanted to honor this man. Ever since I have known him, he has been involved with girl's softball. Teaching many young girls the skills necessary to play the game well and to "compete" in life. Skills that coaches so generously teach by sacrificing their time. He was always so supportive of my daughters while they were playing softball even though he never actually coached either of them. But Robin did more than just influence girl's in softball, he was an entrepreneur, he was friendly, and showed his friendship to all. An example of this....He would wave to me as he would pass by while I was out walking and he was driving by early in the mornings on his way to work. Always with a friendly wave and smile.

I am privileged to call him friend, even though I am no more than an acquaintance from the community. As he fights this final fight, I hope his family may be comforted with an understanding of God's love for each of them. I have no words of comfort to offer, just an appreciation for a life well lived, for a heart that has been deeply touched. Thank you Robin, you have made an impact on my family and a community that will not soon forget what you have done. God bless you and your family.

1989

Well, I'm a week late on this post. Ethan turned 20 last Monday, November 16th. It is really hard to believe that he is no longer a teenager and that he is growing/grown up. Ethan was my biggest baby, weighing in at 10lbs 4oz. He was born is Wailuku, Maui, Hawaii.

These are the only pictures of him he would let me take. I can't find his baby book since we moved 2 years ago. It's still packed up somewhere in the shop. I guess I ought to finally unpack things. Anyway....enjoy.






Ethan in a very tender, caring young man. He loves his mom and puts up with her antics and sillyness. Our favorite conversation is: me, "Love you", him, "Love you more", me, "Love you most", him, "love you mostest" etc, etc,. Yes, we know those aren't real words, but we love to try to out do the other person in expressing our love for each other. Thanks E, you know I love that about you.
He loves having his back rubbed or fingers run through his hair. (He is just like a cat when you touch his head. He will move it around and almost purr while his head is rubbed.) hehe!
Ethan has a great love for family. His best friends are his cousins and sisters. He admires his "older" cousins and enjoys hanging out with them, their wives and their kids. He is a very hard worker. Cannot sit still for 15 min. He loves construction and working with his hands, but his first love is horses. He still enjoys trying to let a horse buck him off during a rodeo. Ethan has high hopes of one day being in the NFR as a Bareback contestant, but for now, he is riding in every possible rodeo he can enter and living his dream to the fullest. Ethan is faithful in his attendance at church and in his priesthood duties. He's a teenager/young adult that doesn't really enjoy sitting through church, but knows that is where he is suppose to be, so that is where he is. Ethan is a joy and a blessing to our family. He is a good son!

Princesses

When our neighbors moved in a few years back, their oldest daughter was about 1 and her and Abi hit it off. Abi gave her the title of Princess Kaiya. Well Kaiya is now almost 4, and with Disney's Princess on Ice in town, it just seemed logical for us to go. Emalee, Kaiya, her little sister, Mekenna, her mom Michelle and I all went for a "ladies" night out. It was soooooo much fun....here are some pictures of our adventure

As you can see from the distant pictures, we needed a better camera or closer seats, but since we bought the tickets just a few days prior to going, seats selection was limited. We had so much fun. Mekenna was jabbering away during most of the first half. By the second half she was winding down and ready for some sleep. Kaiya loved seeing all the princesses. She kept asking where was Cinderella. I don't think that she was disappointed at the end. We took 137 pictures!! Enjoy
Let's see, we saw Snow White, Mulan, Ariel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine and Belle.

1985

I'm a day late with this BIRTHDAY post. It is hard to believe that my 1st born turned 24 years old yesterday. I am in awe of the fine young man that he is.



Here is the story of him entering the world. I found out that I was pregnant in March of 1985. I was given a due date of Oct. 25th. As the months went by, I slowly developed a very large belly. The doctors were concerned about my size and the possible size of the baby, (This is back in the day when ultrasounds weren't as common as they are now)so they thought that they better find out how big this little guy was. Well, after they did the ultrasound they moved my due date up to September 26th, a whole month. I knew that there was no way that I was that off with the date of my last period, but figuring that the doctors knew better, we went with that. I began going to my doctors appointments on a weekly basis the first of September and by the time I had gone 8 weeks, every week to see the doctor, with no progress we knew something was up. I had to go to the hospital several times to have non-stress test done to make sure that the baby wasn't in any stress. Winston stopped moving around and after we passed our original due date of October 25th, we asked the Doctor when we should start to worry. Mind you, I have not dialated or thinned at all. No progress what so ever! The doctor says that usually at about 2 weeks past the due date they begin to get concerned about the placenta functioning effectively. We told the doctor that we were at 2 weeks, he said see you in the morning. We left the doctors office, went straight to the hospital for blood draws, knowing that I was going to have to deliver c-section. All went well.


I forgot to add that just before they pulled Winston out, he pooped, swallowed it and was in Intensive Care for a day and a half. Scary but like I said all was well.

Winston Grant McNeill
9lbs 14oz
(born sometime in the morning, can't remember the exact time.)
head circumference 47" (too big to fit through the birth canal.)

My beautiful baby has grown to be a handsome man. Winston works with his dad, understands the construction business, wants to go to school to be an accountant, loves to dance, sing, & play WOW. He is working to be able to put himself through school.

CLEVELAND ROCKS

While I was at the Salt Lake Temple last night, Mardee said that she had been told about my blog and went to see what I had to update about Abi. Well when she told me this story, I thought that I had better put something up about my darling missionary.
Abi feels truly blessed to be able to have the Kirtland Temple in her area. It is truly sacred ground. A fantastic missionary tool to help investigators feel the Spirit as they are taught the truths of the restoration.






Abi is currently serving in the North Olmsted Area, Cleveland Zone. She has been out 10 months, has been in 3 areas and has had only 1 companion for 2 transfers. She was a trainer after just 6 months out. She is currently living with the Stake President, President Titera and his wife. A funny thing about this.....It's a small world!!!!! Sister Titera's sister and BIL live in the 11th ward of the Grantsville Utah Stake. Abi and Sister Romney are serving in the same ward that the Mission President and Stake President attend. PRESSURE.

This is Abi with her 1st Mission President and Sister Peterson. They are from Salt Lake. Abi changed Mission President's in July. She now serves under President and Sister Sorenson.

Some of Abi's most recent thoughts....

"Our teaching pool is REALLY small, in fact we have no progressing investigators. (This letter was written just after her transfer to a new area). This area has so much potential and I'm thrilled with the trust Heavenly Father has placed in me to help build it up. I decided at the beginning of my mission that I just wanted Heavenly Father to trust me with whatever He needed done. Every area I've served in I've come in with no investigators and a lot of tracting before me.....then as I've left I've usually left behind a couple of baptisms or baptismal dates or a large teaching pool. I do not boast of myself, but I glory in Jesus. I'm grateful for these blessings. I guess it just goes back to the rule of leaving things better than you found them. These people aren't mine, they are Heavenly Father's children. I do my best to trust in Him and that He will tell me what to do with them."

Abi has had her share of mishaps and accidents. She has been in 2 car wrecks, neither were the missionaries fault. She has fallen down and scraped her leg several times. She has had birds poop on her head and been caught outside in several down pours. She is loving her missionary experiences.

Hope you have enjoyed getting caught up on what our darling daughter is up to. She loves being called as a special witness of Jesus Christ, and testifying to the world, or the Cleveland community, that Jesus is the Christ and that happiness comes through Him.

Change in callings

Just a quick note to let you all know what is happening in my life. After nearly 3 years, I was recently released as the 16-17 year old Sunday School teacher. I am going to miss this calling. I want my students to know how grateful I am for their testimonies of the Savior and for the examples they set for me and others. You guys and gals are awesome!!!! It has been a pleasure to learn more about the Gospel together with all of you.

So along with the release I received a new calling. I am now going to be a Relief Society teacher. Errrrrhhh, I have NEVER taught adults. I am scared to death but excited all at the same time. Wish me luck......

Beware

I went to the doctor yesterday, I have been coughing so much lately that the kids watched the store for me and I visited the doc's office. Well, I knew it, I have..........
BRONCHITIS

Yuck, stay away, beware, and WASH YOUR HANDS. Sorry if I infected anybody!

I am trying to be careful, staying away when it is possible. I need to get better soon, I want to go to the gym.

THE RESULTS OF 1 RIGHTEOUS DECISION

What are the results of a decision?

Jeff and I had the opportunity this past weekend to witness first hand the fruition of a righteous decision made many, many years earlier.

My older sister had 1 granddaughter baptized and 2 granddaughters blessed this weekend by their fathers, quite possibly because of a decision she made as a young girl in California.


You see, when I was very young we lived in Walnut Creek, CA. My parents were not active in the church but we had a faithful home teacher that came and visited monthly. As my sister reached Young Women's age, this faithful Home teacher invited her to church. Going so far as to assist her in getting to the meetinghouse. Well that faithful man, where ever he may be, probably will never know the results of his faithful service, but partially, because of him a little girl in Idaho became one of the newest members of the church this weekend, and 2 beautiful babies became recipients of a fathers blessing as they start their mortal lives.

(Lani, I hope I got the story right)

We all make decisions every day. Most of the time without even a thought of what the consequences may be. Generations far beyond our view will be the recipient of some of those choices. I am grateful for the promptings of the Spirit which help me to make the best decisions in my life.

Thanks family for the awesome weekend. I loved every single minute of it. Not to have to worry about the store, Thank you kids!!!! Visiting with wonderful family members that I don't get to see very often. Thanks Lani & Dave

This is for GIO!

This is how close we were to the Prophet and ALL the General Authorities!


I know that this post is late, but I have been trying to get pictures to post from my card onto my computer and have been having all kinds of problems, but since it seems to be working I will update my boring blog.

This blog entry is for Gio; Abi's awesome friend from Ohio who was planning on coming to Utah for conference, and then was unable to make it. So Gio.......Not to make you feel bad for missing it, but to share the experience with you here are some pictures.



I don't know why I looked so scared in this picture.....lol

Anyway, we were blessed to have very close seats so that we were literally sitting at the feet of the Prophets. A nice story, we had 2 extra seats, because Gio couldn't make it out. Not wanting them to go to waste, we gave them to a gentleman who asking for tickets as we were walking towards the conference center. After we had taken our seats, this man came over to us, asked us if we were the ones who had given him the tickets. When we told him yes, he then told us this story. His 14 yr old son had just received his patriarchal blessing, and in it it told him that he would sit at the feet of the Prophets to be instructed in the ways of the Lord. And there he was, a prophecy fulfilled.

One of my favorite talks given was by Bishop H. Burke Peterson. He spoke about the "ity" virtues. Virtues in today's society that might be missing, virtues like, RESPONSIBILITY, HUMILITY, MORALITY, CIVILITY, HONESTY, FIDELITY, GENEROSITY, SPIRITUALITY, CREDIBILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY, CHARITY, INTEGRITY were just some of the ITY virtues that he spoke about. He said that Integrity is the mother of all virtues. That if Integrity is lost, all the rest of the virtues are impossible to keep. I am grateful for the reminder from living latter day Prophets, who are inspired to give a sermon on things designed to help make us better individuals.

Then to sit at the feet of a Prophet of God. To hear President Monson speak about Service. "What have I done for someone else today?" That if I look outside of myself and my life, and my troubles, there will be ways to serve somebody every single day!!! What an awesome thought. I can be of service, I might just make a difference in someone else's life.

Other various thoughts from conference......

"Do I find myself int he thick or thin of things? Am I focused on what really matters?"

"There are no monthly service fees with communication to Heaven."

"Using the safety equipment provided to us is a choice. One we must choose to enjoy."

"Resist all distractions that would remove us from the iron rod"

"We obey, not by force but by desire"

I am grateful to be a member of the Living church. To have a Living Prophet of God, who teaches and guides us to be better than we were yesterday, IF we choose to follow him. I know that these things are true, Gio. I know that true happiness in found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Oh Mommy.......How are MY prayers answered?

I labeled this post with the question that has plagued my life. All too often I want the thunderbolt and lightning to come down from Heaven to answer my prayers and give me the needed information to fix the crisis that is currently plaguing my life. But unfortunately for me I never get the LOUD, NOISY answers. Those answers usually come with the still small voice, that I still haven't learned how to listen to. Then I have to decipher what the Lord wants me to hear and act with faith upon what I THINK I am being told.

For example, I have a particular concern that consumes my thoughts right now. It keeps me from getting a good nights sleep, as I toss and turn and wake up several times a night pondering it. I have been praying fervently for an answer, or more specifically, guidance. This has been going on for a few months now, with no real answer, other than to "trust the Lord". As long as I put the Lord first in my life, ALL things will work out. So that is what I have been trying to do. Going on with life, TRUSTING that Heavenly Father will make His will known to me at the appropriate time.

So here is the dilemma, this morning out of a deep sleep at 4:45am I wake up with the clear memory of a dream that I had just had. The dream was specifically about what has me concerned, but this answer isn't the answer that I had hoped would come. So is this my personal revelation and an answer to my prayers? or is it my own conscience and fear causing me to dream of the exact thing I don't want to happen?

Since my mom passed away 13 1/2 years ago, I can't really ask her, but I long for her words of wisdom and love. I have always trusted my mom, and I miss her unconditional love and support. I miss feeling her loving arms around me, comforting me and making "everything" alright. With those thoughts in mind, I ask again........ Mommy, how are MY prayers answered? Why am I so confused?

Thanks for letting me vent and express my greatest concerns. I love all of you who participate with me in my blog. I treasure your example, your wisdom, your love, and your testimony in our Savior. Thank you for you examples!